I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
