I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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