After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize