Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
