Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
