Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
