so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
