If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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