for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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