what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
