Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
