ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
