I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
soo... how was my night?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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