consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
