Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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