i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
