I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
