So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
