Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
