I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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