Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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