Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
