So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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