Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Randomize
