Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
