I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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