It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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