I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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