someone owes me an orgasm
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize