I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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