gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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