Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize