I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm both gender and math confused
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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