i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
