Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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