i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
