I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
