her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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