Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
