We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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