My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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