Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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