Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think i have herpe
just one?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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