I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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