What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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