Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize