Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
