OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
