he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
