So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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