I can tuck mytits in my pants
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
