everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
