last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
