Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
