His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
