Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
