I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
