He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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