she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize