Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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