Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize