i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
