hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
