you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just had sex on a roof
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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