it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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