This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
