He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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