I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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