i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
