Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
