You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
